Holding on...and thinking out loud.

So, i haven't had home teachers come for months! And finally I got new ones and they came today! :) Their lesson was just on like the worth of souls and how no matter what, everyone is important. I have been struggling for a while just with weaknesses i have, and sometimes I feel like I mean nothing, and i have no one...even though, deep down I know the Lord is always on my side, and yes I know I have my family and tons of friends, but sometimes i feel like I can't talk to anyone about things I'm going through--i don't know- i just can't...Its weird. So then I have an even harder time trying to deal with them all by myself. School is so hard. So, i feel so inadequate being there sometimes, like i shouldn't be there because what am I accomplishing when I keep failing math. :P but I know I need to be there...one of these days I will glad I stayed.

I 've been having a hard time lately knowing that about 3 or 4 of my best friends are getting married within a year. I'm trying to play it off as if it doesn't bother me, but it makes me sad. Yes of course i am ecstatic for them but as if I don't feel lonely enough sometimes already, lets throw the fact that all my friends are gettin married too. (I don't even have a boyfriend)...I've been dating but nothing ever really works out. although, I have been making a lot of new friends by dating them and also just new people i have met have become my new best friends! I love my work for everyone i work with!!! :D everyone is awesome! My job is getting old, but I like the atmosphere and just being there to work with awesome people. :)

Anyway, aside from tangents I just wanted to say that my home teachers reminded me that no one is perfect, and we all struggle sometimes with things. And whether you know it or not, in some way your presence matters to someone else. You are worth something! (i need to keep reminding myself of that as I continue to fail, that I am worth something and I do matter) the Lord is always with us. Pray to Him and cry to Him and he will bless thee. :) When you're truly emersed in the gospel, it really does make you rember the importance of so much! I know that as I strive to cling to the rod, I will always be blessed with His love. Well, haha I don't really write in my journal anymore, so this is it. If you read it, good for you. haha This is truly speaking from my heart. It makes me feel loads better to write it down. :)